"Barney wanted a tiny waterproof computer for his million-dollar playboy lifestyle submersible, and he wanted it for under $2,000. We told him, 'you find it, you keep it.'"

Apple can't say that in their I'm a Mac ads, can they? But Microsoft can, now that Stealth Computer contends users could throw everything, including the kitchen sink, at their WPC-500F PC and it'd come out unscathed. Actually, throw the thing in the sink and it'd be fine too, because it's 100% waterproof.

Now, what companies say and what their products actually do in the hands of consumers are often dubious stretches of reality at best (see also: laptop battery life claims), but in Stealth's defense they do advertise this thing by dumping water on it.

But enough Saturday morning infomercial crap—what about specs? There's few to be had, unfortunately, but we do know the WPC-500F is tiny, like netbook tiny (almost), and is powered appropriately by an Intel Atom processor. There's Windows Vista/XP support, and for you penguin heads thinking about bolting this thing to your Torvalds-branded power boat, there's Linux support too.

The WPC-500F is billed as shock-proof to begin with, but Stealth says there's an SSD hard drive option if you're being extra careful. Base model starts at $1,995. [Stealth Computer via Coolest Gadgets]

We're just hearing about it now, but back in March a quick-thinking air traveler took advantage of a dim-witted TSA official who had let that fancy little patch they wear go to his head. Weapon of choice? An iPhone.

The man, Steve Bierfeldt, was detained for carrying too much money. Not that this is a crime or anything (it isn't), but it was enough of a phantom infraction for the unnamed TSA official to remove him from line, put him in a windowless room, and interrogate him for an hour.

Enter the iPhone, and one of its many voice recorder apps (keep in mind this happened in March, so no 3.0 recorder just yet). Thanks to the recorder, we can now read about gems like this:

On a recording a TSA agent can be heard berating Bierfeldt. One sample: "You want to play smartass, and I'm not going to play your f**king game."

All that because Bierfeldt, who's in the employ of former presidential candidate Ron Paul, was trying to bring $4,700 in campaign funds onto an airplane. An ACLU lawsuit is pending, which is probably the least surprising part of this entire story. [CNN via BBG]

An electrical fault has delayed the LHC startup to October. The silver lining is events have aligned in such a way that I can wear my Higgs Boson costume with confidence. October, as you know, is home to Halloween. [MSNBC]

The chatter surrounding a Google Voice launch was downright feverish Thursday, prompting many to speculate the event was imminent. Details were sparse, and the launch didn't come, but Google is definitely ready to do something based on new info.

That info? How about one million newly reserved phone numbers with Level 3, the provider Google's been using in tandem with Voice since the beginning? Does that get your telecommunications itch scratched?

Well, it should, especially if you've been following all the great things we've been saying about the service since Chen got his hands on it earlier this year.

Further speculation says Google Voice might launch today, but Google isn't saying one way or the other. Visit the the site and hit refresh at your leisure. [PC World]

This DIY project takes common parts, including a clock from IKEA and a fluorescent desk lamp, and turns them into this sweet robot voice modulator that makes even the most emotional, dramatic vocals seem cold and calculating.

This doesn't look like the easiest project we've seen; it calls for laser cutting and a significant amount of audio tech know-how. But the results are pretty much exactly what you'd want, and it's definitely a sweet-looking end result. This thing even features audio-in so you can plug in instruments, pre-recorded sounds, or anything else you want, and the pitch-shifting and vibrato buttons let you adjust the robot sounds on the fly. Check out the instructions for more info on how to sound like a robot. [Instructables via MAKE]

The current largest video screen in the world, in the Dallas Cowboys stadium, measures an insane 159x71 feet. Feet! And what better way to show that immensity off than by playing a little Gears of War?

Apparently the gamer who masterminded this hedonistic joyride was Steve Fatone, brother of *NSYNC's Joey and music video director for luminaries like, um, the Jonas Brothers. So maybe his taste in music is suspect, but we think we just might get along with him anyway, after this indulgence. [Engadget]

We were pretty confident before, but now we've got it straight from the horse's podcast: The Zune HD will indeed pack the Nvidia Tegra chip, which should give it better battery life and enviable video acceleration. [ZuneInsider]

John Hodgman, now perhaps best known as the PC in the "I'm a Mac" ads, spoke at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association Dinner about nerds, Trekkies, and President Obama's favorite "name-brand smartphone [he] shall not name, for contractual reasons."

In this video you will learn of our President's enthusiasm for comic books, see a photo of him imitating a statue of Superman, and watch him flash the Vulcan sign.

Indeed, John Hodgman. It is an exciting time to be a nerd. [Collegehumor, Thanks Julian!]

Last September, a 14-year-old Dutch boy was assaulted and robbed after being shoved off his bike. But with no evidence and no real idea who his assailants were, police were powerless—until the crime showed up on Street View.

The photo shows the boy being tailed closely by two men who matched the boy's original description, but Dutch police actually had to send a formal request to Google to have the faces unblurred. When Google complied, a policeman recognized one of the men (actually twins) as a suspect wanted for similar robberies, and was able to finally make the arrest, six months after the crime.

So beware, felons: The Google cars are watching. [AP]

This huge billboard near New York City's Madison Square Garden was constructed by the Deutsche Bank with assistance from MIT researchers. It measures carbon emissions monthly, and then averages them for a steady incline, broadcast for all to see.

So it's not exactly "real time," but it's fairly close, according to BusinessGreen. The amount of greenhouse gases, now thrown in our faces by this giant glowing billboard, is rising by about 800 tonnes per second, which doesn't mean much to me but certainly sounds like a large number. You can also download a widget in case you don't walk by the billboard itself too often but still want to see a big number slowly increasing. [Treehugger]