Finally! Someone took those "Slate of the Union" jokes seriously and made a ridiculous yet kinda hilarious mash-up of President Obama's State of the Union address and the iPad presentation. [Barely Political via Get Whirled]

Microsoft made a record revenue numbers last quarter, but only its Windows division did substantially better than last year. In fact, practically every other aspect of Microsoft's business did worse.

Don't get me wrong, revenue of $19 billion is extremely impressive. But other than the Server business—which was basically flat, all of the growth came from sales of Windows 7. And I'd be willing to bet that a large percentage of that growth came from netbooks. Bing must have been especially disappointing for Ballmer, with online advertising revenue actually decreasing 2% in the same time period when Google saw its revenue increase 17%.

To date, Windows 7 has sold 60 million copies, making it the fastest-selling operating system in the company's history. Of course, a large part of the reason for Windows 7's success is that so many businesses and individuals decided to pass on Vista. Microsoft's essentially been picking up two refresh cycle's worth of business here.

We'll listen in on the earnings call, and will let you know if there are any more interesting details or fun Ballmerisms ahead.

REDMOND, Wash. - Jan. 28, 2010 - Microsoft Corp. today announced record revenue of $19.02 billion for the second quarter ended Dec. 31, 2009, a 14% increase from the same period of the prior year. Operating income, net income and diluted earnings per share for the quarter were $8.51 billion, $6.66 billion and $0.74 per share, which represented increases of 43%, 60% and 57%, respectively, when compared with the prior year period.

These financial results include the recognition of $1.71 billion of deferred revenue, an impact of $0.14 of diluted earnings per share, relating to the Windows 7 Upgrade Option Program and pre-sales of Windows 7 to OEMs and retailers before general availability. Adjusting for the deferred revenue recognition, second-quarter revenue totaled $17.31 billion, and diluted earnings per share totaled $0.60 per share.

"Exceptional demand for Windows 7 led to the positive top-line growth for the company," said Peter Klein, chief financial officer at Microsoft. "Our continuing commitment to managing costs allowed us to drive earnings performance ahead of the revenue growth."

Windows 7 and Windows Server 2008 R2 launched globally on October 22 as anticipated. Through the second quarter, Microsoft has sold over 60 million Windows 7 licenses making it the fastest selling operating system in history.

"This is a record quarter for Windows units," said Kevin Turner, chief operating officer at Microsoft. "We are thrilled by the consumer reception to Windows 7 and by business enthusiasm to adopt Windows 7."

Business Outlook

Management will discuss second-quarter results and the company's business outlook on a conference call and webcast at 2:30 p.m. PST (5:30 p.m. EST) today.

In addition, Microsoft offers operating expense guidance of $26.2 billion to $26.5 billion, for the full year ending June 30, 2010.

[Microsoft]

The guys at Ultimi Barbarorum came up with an idea—an idea we were tossing around after the event yesterday, and even talked about a little last night—and put it into words. The iPad is for old people.

Those that are dubious of the iPad's impending success (and I suspect that you are one of them, Baruch) are of course in danger or repeating history (qv iPod, iPhone). I have no intention of replicating all the arguments pro- and con the iPad, so I will limit myself to just one wholly original observation as to why I think the doubters once again are not getting it:

1. The iPhone was a success from the start, but it really became a ubiquitous device when it proved competent at a whole range of tasks beyond Apple's original marketing copy. (It was just "a revolutionary mobile phone, a widescreen iPod with touch controls, and a breakthrough Internet communications device," remember?) Now games rule on the iPhone, and as many parents will attest, the iPhone's one true calling is as breakthrough child pacification device.

A similar role awaits the iPad. No, not for children; rather, look to the burgeoning end of the demographic curve: baby boomers.

I know many baby boomers who are intimidated by computers. Plenty are not, but a great many spend far too much time wrestling with viruses and drivers, wondering what a DLL is, and generally not knowing the difference between their RAM and a hard disk - all just so they can read emails and check their bank account online. Some boomers have sired offspring who gladly help them with remote tech support sessions, but many others have not, and suffer for it. The reason for all this misery is simple: Computers are still too complex for those not prepared to give them their undivided attention. That's even the case for Macs.

Not so with the iPhone. I've seen that thing understood within minutes by 2 year-olds and 84 year-olds. It does one thing at a time. Your finger is the cursor. There is no need to tap things twice before stuff happens. You are allowed to turn it off with the power button.

But the iPhone isn't perfect for baby boomers. The screen and text are too small for aging eyes, the keyboard too cramped for confident typing, making it unusable for even basic office productivity tasks.

Enter the larger, faster iPad. It's a complex computer simplified, which makes it a perfect fit to those whose remaining life is too short to spend it defragging drives. Add the keyboard dock, and the iPad is versatile enough to be a baby boomer's only computer. The only thing it won't let them do is videoconference with their grandchildren - which is an omission I hope they fix in next year's version - but on the other hand, at $500 this much is forgiven.

My prediction: Within 2 years you will be reading articles describing how it was obvious - with hindsight - that the iPad would be a hit with aging baby boomers. But who needs hindsight when you have Ultimi Barbarorum?

Post syndicated with permission from Ultimi Barbarorum

Amazon's announced its quarterly results for Q4 2009, and they're pretty good! Lots of dollars, in this here document. But tucked somewhere between the currency symbols and financial jargon was a choice quote from Jeff Bezos, about a little secret he's been keeping:

Millions of people now own Kindles, and Kindle owners read, a lot. When we have both editions, we sell 6 Kindle books for every 10 physical books.

Amazon doesn't provide Kindle sales figures. In fact, Amazon doesn't even provide a Kindle sales ballpark, so this is the most specific information we've ever seen about how well their ebook reader, and in turn the ebook reader as a product category, is doing. The answer? Not terribly, but not necessarily very well. Baby steps!

Assuming their app runs on the iPad, which seems safe, those already impressive book sales rates could go through the roof. [Amazon via Ina Fried]

As soon as I saw Samsung's BD-C6900 3D Blu-Ray player, I desperately wanted to preorder one—awkward product name aside. $400 just seems like a small price to pay for 3D-induced headaches in my very own living room.

There are plenty of other Samsung products popping up for preorder on Amazon today, such as the BD-C6500 with a price $300 and a boot-time of only 15 seconds—though that player is limited to two dimensions. Like my TV. [Amazon via 3D-Display-Info via Engadget]

We've made the leap from resistive to capacitive touchscreens that are more accurate—and multitouchy—so what's next? Screens that feel how hard you tickle them.

One of several approaches to making that happen uses a quantum tunneling composite—quantum tunneling happens when you bring two conductors close together, but with an insulating layer still between them, and electrons jump between the two conductors. Peratech's way to do this is with a polymer that changes resistance as you apply force for the insulating layer, so that bottom line, screens using this tech can tell how hard you pressing on the screen, since the sensors are able tell within two micrometers of how far in the screen's bending.

While there's other tech out there for pressure-sensing screens, Peratech says their tech uses less power and is more sensitive. The first gadgets with Peratech's sauce is coming out as early as April, so we'll able to poke things with that much more intent. Though, I have a hard enough time hitting the right stuff on screen—now I'm gonna have to keep track of how hard I press? Hrm. [MIT via Engadget]

Hard drive clocks are a dime a dozen on sites like Etsy, but Hacked Gadgets reader NatureTM went the extra mile and employed an Arduino to control the time and LED light show on the reflective platters.

This is only phase one of NatureTM's project, a chronodot (for time accuracy) and a case will eventually be added. Details on the build are pretty basic at the moment, but a schematic can be requested and code should be posted...eventually. [Hacked Gadgets]

A few weeks ago we heard rumors that the Motorola Shadow could earn the distinction of Nexus Two. Today Motorola confirmed that they are working with Google on a new phone to be sold directly to consumers.

There's no telling if the Droidesque Shadow is the device in question, or if Motorola's will even be Google's next flagship device, but during an earnings call today Motorola CEO Sanjay Jha confirmed that the company is working on a "direct to consumer device with Google."

Jha didn't offer any details on the forthcoming phone, but his statement serves as confirmation of two things: Google's Nexus One wasn't a one-off experiment and Motorola is involved in one of its successors. [Electronista]

The Withings scale is great. It keeps track of your weight, BMI, and more to graph everything for an at-a-glance review of how fat you're getting. Now it's got Google Health integration for better—and slightly creepier—health records.

The Google Health service has been around for a while and allows you to maintain an online health profile. In theory this would aid doctors and family members in keeping track of your health history. By integrating a device like the Withings scale, the service could theoretically be used to help keep a health or fitness plan on track. After all, it's kinda tough to fib if your scale tells on you—not only to Twitter, but to Google and your doctor.

Withings Announces Integration with Google Health for its WiFi Connected Body Scale

Issy-les-Moulineaux, France – January 28, 2010 — Today, Withings, maker of the world's first WiFi connected personal scale, is announcing its integration with the Google Health service. As of today, the Withings WiFi Body Scale can provide updates to a user's Google Health profile wirelessly in real-time using its built-in WiFi connection.

Google Health, launched last year, is a personal health record that allows users to store, organize, and manage health information all in one place. It organizes a user's health information and allows them to share that information with family members, caregivers and doctors. Now, the scale will automatically update the user's weight and fat mass to their Google Health profile.

"It's exciting to be one of the early hardware devices to integrate with the Google Health service," said Cedric Hutchings, Withings General Manager. "Keeping your doctors and caregivers informed on all aspects of your health is important in maintaining a consistent health plan, so being part of Google Health's effort to make this possible is thrilling."

The WiFi Body Scale is a unique product that automatically records the user's body weight, lean & fat mass, and calculated body mass index (BMI) to his/her secure webpage and/or free Withings iPhone application, WiScale [more info on the scale here]. Also, if enabled by the user, the scale can automatically "Tweet" information in order to get motivation from the user's followers [more info on that feature here].

The scale is currently available on www.withings.com for $159.00 USD. For more information on Withings, go to www.withings.com . To request additional information or images of the WiFi Body Scale, please contact PR representative Jessica Darrican at (305) 576-1171 ext.16 or jessica@maxborgesagency.com.

About Withings:

Withings is a French start-up established by three executives from the technology and telecom industry. With a focus on the innovation and design for everyday products, Withings introduced in September 2009 its first-of-its-kind WiFi Bodyscale in the United States. For more information on Withings, visit www.withings.com.

[Withings]

Usually reading the patent tea leaves is an inaccurate science at best, without knowing how exactly a proposed technology will fit into a company's product plans. Other times, there's an actual drawing of an iPod Touch with a video camera.

The patent was filed in the summer of 2009, but only just published today by the US Patent Office. It's maybe not the most surprising news in the world, given that the iPhone 3GS is already equipped with the technology. There really hasn't been a good reason for the Touch not to have a camera, other than Steve Jobs dithering about how people just don't want one. That's always seemed like poppycock, and I'm glad it looks like Apple's started to agree.

Separately, Apple also filed a patent for LED backlighting, which makes sense given that the iPad will come with exactly that. Whether we'll also be seeing it implemented on the next generation of iPhones and iPod Touches is anyone's guess. [Patently Apple]